I want to share with you a story about his girlfriend and how some deep resentment she was holding me. Maybe my advice was inappropriate and would be better if I did not say anything at the moment, but it has already been said by me, the word back is not zaberёsh. In general, judge for yourself and if you can explain her reaction, I'll be glad to know your opinion.
But first it has to tell about the most Nadia (I change the name) and her life, since my advice is aimed at changes in life, so I ask a little patience to judge objectively.
Since I met Nadia, when going to school. Make friends we had probably not due to the fact that they were kindred spirits, but because of the circumstances: her parents as mine moved into a new neighborhood, and she and I, not to move to another school, we went to the old school on trolleybus. Since the early 90-ies it was painfully, had no time to be idle for hours at the bus stop, or even to get home on foot. So at the bus stop with her and we became friends. She was wearing flashy, not painted black and wore a long braid, but was always neatly dressed, the boys are not interested. Although my mother brought one and we had less financial ability to buy something than that Nadina family, but I had nice things or elegant shoes and since my childhood I had more self-confidence. Perhaps this is why Nadia ran to me and did not hurry home after our exit from the trolley and stops to chat with me more. I remember it I was even a little bit tired, because the conversations were then about anything and I had to speak directly to her, let's leave.
After school, we at one time lost sight of each other and that's somehow she turned to me with such a request, whether it came to me myself, whether I have it on the street by chance met, I do not remember: two Georgians called her to him guests and she would like him to go, but one somehow indecent. I did not agree at first, because the Georgians do not take seriously, and then did not want to go to unknown peasants home. She began to beg me and yet persuaded. When we came there, they have on the table was a lot of fruits and various sweets and during intercourse is one of them seemed even quite interesting, sociable and funny, and seemingly nice (this is the man who Nadia interested) why and called her a visit. But despite its advantages, he immediately proihvёl no serious impression on me, as poured into the open is not so much to Nadi much to me. I even felt embarrassed in front of Nadia and every time I tried to pull up this source, to not have the nerve to flirt with me in the presence of friends.
Over time I learned that Nadia began to meet with Georgian and this even after a time that it is controlled her every move, even though she lives with her parents. Then Nagy began to share with me: his house is little, as he stalls on the market and he allegedly got to be on the market until 11 pm, and it is preparing at this time, cleans and washes hand bed (the washing machine, he can not buy as puts itself on a foreign car), it's all very outraged Nadia. Throw him as she does not dare, because he loves. And then I start to drive her in the head, so that it is impossible that we should decide to leave him.
Then when I moved to Germany, he continued to call her and listening to her complaints, pushing to move to leave him. It seems to draw conclusions, saying: "Yes, you're right Len, you're right", but as time passed, the changes were not observed.
Then one day she found out, but he can and he told her, too, I do not remember that he has long been a new family of saleswomen in the market, and the child, and the whole market had long known about it, but she did not know Nadia.
Then she had to look for a new bride and she decided to try their luck through a marriage agency. I met a Jew and went to see him live in Israel. He insulted and humiliated her and rebuked for each eaten a banana and drunk a liter min. water. He gave her money for an abortion, and she came back. I'm still trying to drive her in the head, it is necessary to respect yourself, so you can not worry ... for it to somehow cheer up, sends her sweets, tea, clothes. She is very grateful to me.
Once I decided not to call her more as it acted depressing stories to me, especially when you realize that it is useless, it is very indecisive person and give yourself offense. She herself I never wrote or called, I had grown accustomed to, that I do. But then I still was worried for her and she decided to call after 3 months, to learn how her case. I called, my mother lifts up the phone, I ask - if there is Nadia, and she says to me: "Oh, Lena, and you did not know - Nadia month ago got married and moved to Israel." I was dumbfounded - why did not report?
Then I began to call her to Israel, but immediately suspected that her husband was a strange type. Before coming to Israel, he gave her a job to sew bed that Israel supposedly expensive. She suffers, buy in Ukraine cloth, she sat sewing at home bed was carrying back to Israel, and when she arrived, she saw that the bed is not too expensive in the shops as he to her narasskazyvali. At the wedding of her mother I had to spend all the savings, since he was willing to make only the half.
And then after a while begin the story of such a plan: greedy, to go anywhere does not want it for a whole year once the sea has visited, selfish, not thinking about the fact that Nadia language should be taught, watching Russian television, the house did not help her, and the man's work does not. And when the child was born, then all came home only to sleep. Nadia even in the store could not run out and rest for half an hour, making it offensive remarks. In general, in a trenchant Georgian appeared. I began to give Nadia advice that it is too late, tell him that you want to go to Ukraine to visit her mother, and then do not return itself, what it says to me: "Oh, Len, but I want to have somehow doterpet yet I get the status. " I explained to her that she and the need to assist her husband, for example, references to the work of his income, and it is unlikely that he will want to contribute to this, as he himself was a real tyrant.
It takes 4 years and this is how events unfold: one day Nadia returned home from work, the apartment is half-empty, leaving only the old furniture, and my husband is not a child. He kidnapped a child and left in an unknown direction. From that moment, Nadina a lawsuit to get the child that has been delayed for 2.5 years. At first not even allowed to see each other with the child, but then after the N-th Court of Nadia is still given the right to once a week or 2 to take the boy to him for a couple of hours.
Once Nadia writes to me on Skype: "Lena, I have not written since I was depressed, I was very sick at heart, a lot of problems, I do not know what to do and how to solve them Come, please, on Skype when you can.."
And then we begin to talk to her and I listen to her, problems at work, you can not even safely go to the toilet or rest, colleagues it as a non-Jew does not like, she does not know how much power is enough to stretch well. With the flat problem, the owner turned out to be dishonest, stirs up with the money, so she can at worst be in the street. Her husband makes life hell. If it is delayed by 5 minutes to bring the child, he immediately reported to the police and to open it as a matter for the abduction of a child, then she must write an explanatory possibly comes to court. Constantly shaking, whether it will extend the visa in six months. 2 years she has worked without a single day of vacation and do not know how many forces so enough. Rooting is impossible, as the hospital is not paid. The child does not understand why she could not leave it at home and cries every time she does not want the Pope. She lives with hope, that the execution of his son 14 years old he will be able to decide with whom to live, and for the implementation of 18 and help her to stay, if write petition. But since his father zashugannyh that the boy underdevelopment, goes to the spec. garden. I doubt that he will be typed in 14 years the courage to say to the court that he wanted to live with her mother.
And then it all laid out to me, she is waiting for response. What would you say to her, listening to all this nightmare? I did not think twice, I say to her, "Nadia, I think you'd better go back to Ukraine and start a new life." It is where to come back, Mom lives alone in a 4-room apartment, and it is normal, the older brother is adjusted business that paid for her studies at the prestigious university town can be, and this time not denied her than help.
Hearing my words, she snapped at me: "You are what I want to say that I left my child This can be you'd left her child, but I am your child for what will not leave and will fight to the end, why would I? at any cost. " I said, "Well, how are you going to fight - money for a lawyer you do not, support, too, the judges in such cases on the side of the Jews, your husband put before the court unlucky mother to sue itself without a good lawyer should be at least the most to be very. experienced, and you do not know the language, and that is normal to say the right word at the trial itself or to understand them. " And then she told me this: "I want to meet a man who would help me with the status and give the money to a lawyer." I tell her that having a life experience, can only say that the search for a man who would have agreed to resolve all of her early problems, it's like playing the lottery. Men themselves are looking for a women that would help them solve their problems. And then Nadia stops talking, and since then no longer responds to my calls and messages, completely ignoring me.
I'm sad that I'm so worried about her, and the result was bad. Are all my support does not count and it all forgotten ?!
Thanks for reading until the end.
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