Life passes by

Hello dear users and visitors of the site! I read you a very long time (a year and a half, probably), and here, too, decided to write about his life.

My name is Anna, I am 24. I work as a history teacher at the school, I live with my dad. Mom I do not remember her, she died when I was two. Then Pope dedicated his whole life to me, and I never felt deprived. I was late for dad child, when I was born, he was 41. Now he is 65, he suffered two strokes. When the first came, I was 16. Then the pope gave a disability, he could no longer work. Another was alive, my aunt, for some time, she helped us, plus pay a disability pension. But I knew that for a long time we did not last I gave up all plans, dropped out of school, was admitted to the teacher training college. And it worked, of course. That nurse, the waitress, the cleaner, the seller - the day was not that I was not working. You do not think, I'm not complaining. At the time, Dad was working, so I did not need, and I have never been thought to give up everything, to assist, take care of him.
Personal life I never had. No, I'm not a virgin, I had two partners and three of sexual intercourse. What for? I do not know. Whether wanted to be like everyone else, or was young and stupid - I swear, I do not know. Last closeness I had more than six years ago. And I kissed one last time at the same time. No one ever admitted to me in love, and I do not do this.
Now many people think I'm a freak, but it seems that some people think I'm pretty. I do not have any obvious physical defects, although complex, probably a lot. When people ask me why I do not make personal life, I am silent. People simply do not understand what the paralyzed man. With lessons I was flying at full speed, because in my absence, the pope looks neighbor-pensioner for a nominal fee, and I was always afraid that she will refuse. Money is not enough, repairs in the apartment we did not do ten years. In order to meet someone, I do not have neither the time nor the financial ability (commonplace in the café to pay for itself). And who needs a girl-a burden?
And I know that adolescence is over. I look at my girls and I understand that many of them are much more freely communicate with the guys than I am. If I have someone, and notes that I blush, silly, I feel awkward and pathetic. For all the time, and in the last year I can not help thinking that my time is flowing like water through my fingers, and I can not change anything. I look ahead and I see there is solitude.
Someone may laugh, tell what my age, but I feel like such an old soul. So tired of this daily struggle, from what I can not change anything.
Thanks to all who read it.